I made the stupid decision of going to work via Mantrade, this in my mind was better than walking almost three blocks from Dela Rosa all the way to Chino Roces Avenue in Makati. And because I was early today, I wanted to start my day right.

So anyway as I was walking towards the Jeepney station I lit a cigarette and as I boarded the PUJ, I threw away the lit cigarette. Okay, so I’m going to admit that it was wrong to do it in the first place but still there were like a million people doing that.

So I guess, I was simply at the wrong place at the wrong time.

A yellow boy appeared out of nowhere and asked me to step down. To my embarassment I did so. I was still confused as to what exactly happened.

As I went down, he started blurting out the regular stuff that “authority” figures say. Their whole “holier-than-thou” spout.And because the guy looked like a cross between Max Alvarado and Pacquito Diaz, I was very defensive and very apprehensive about this whole thing.

When he asked for my ID, I didnt provide one. Stating that I was out of work and I was going to look for work in that particular area of Makati. I think he bought my B*llsh*t because he scratched his head and took a few steps back to his partner-in-crime. I followed suit and the partner, an old man with very haggard features asked the same thing and spouted the same thing.

And the normal BS, I was out of work and I wasn’t sure if I brought along identification cards. So they did the whole bad cop- good cop routine with me. Since I DID NOT want to surrender my ID, they threatened to call in the mobile and bring me to Makati City Hall to be processed FOR LITTERING.

I still did not want to give in. I was sensing that they wanted to ask for a little “lagay” or bribe for the foreign readers, which is common practice here in the Philippines for some of the more “upstanding” officers.

I said go ahead and do their worst. As I waited for the mobile to arrive they were asking if I wanted to give them something for their trouble and save time and woe for the both of us. I said no. I could have said yes and slipped a Php500 but I was carrying only Php 200 (which is enough for the whole day, including 711’s biggest cup of French Vanilla coffee) I denied them the chance of having the upperhand.

I sighed and remembered my friend’s poster of Murphy’s Law in his room back in college. According to Murphy’s Law, “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong”. Which in my case was a series of subsequent events.

But in the last minute, my karma pulled a hail mary. The mobile died down and they were unable to get it to start. The guys told me to go to Makati City Hall instead and asked for my name. I gave them a fake name and dashed for the next available jeep muttering to myself in my most diabolical inner voice ala Dick Dastardly, YOU’LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE COPPERS!

And the classic, RASSEM FRASSEM

Technorati Tags: Cops, Dick Dastardly

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